[Lyrics for Eberhard Schoener – San Francisco Waitress]
San Francisco, July 27
A 40 year-old accountant had lost his bid to collect 38 dollars in damages from a cocktail waitress,
Who broke a date with him.
Judge Richard Figoney ruled yesterday in small claims court against Tom Hosley,
Who sought the money from Alison Cheeselet, 31
Because she had backed out on a date to accompany him to the theater
Mr. Hosley said he drove 35 miles from his home in Campbell to San Francisco
To pick up Ms. Cheeslet and was incensed that she had not called him before he left home to tell him the date was off…ah
The judge, explaining his decision, said:
“The promise to engage in a social relationship for one evening in exchange for affection and/or one evening at the theater
Is unenforceable under the laws and contracts of Torrence, therefore it is a civil wrong not involving a contract.”
Mr. Hosley had presented the cardboard
Broken heart at the hearing,
And Judge Figoney took note of it in his opinion
Quintilian
In the first century A.D.
Observed that “Vain hopes are like certain dreams of those who wake.”(Marcus Fabius Quintilian)
Plantiff’s exhibit A for identification:
A cardboard object in the shape of a broken heart
Is all that returned to the plantiff
With the court mindful of Lord Byron’s admonition,
“Maid of Athens, ere we part,
Give me back my broken heart
Oh, give me back my broken heart…ha, ha, ha, ha.