Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99
Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
It The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
Scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth
Oh nevermind you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 years youll look back at photos of yourself
And recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before
You and how fabulous you really looked…
You are not as fat as you imagine
Dont worry about the future or worry, but know that worrying is as
Effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
Never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Dont be reckless with other peoples hearts,
Dont put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Dont waste your time on jealousy sometimes youre ahead, sometimes youre behind…
The race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Dont feel guilty if you dont know what you want to do with your life…
The most interesting people I know didnt know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, youll miss them when theyre gone
Maybe youll marry, maybe you wont,
Maybe youll have children,maybe you wont,
Maybe youll divorce at 40, maybe youll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
What ever you do, dont congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody elses
Enjoy your body,
Use it every way you can…
Dont be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
Its the greatest instrument youll ever own
Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read the directions, even if you dont follow them
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when theyll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings
They are the best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
Because the older you get,
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths,
Prices will rise,
Politicians will philander,
You too will get old, and when you do youll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable,
Politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Dont expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund,
Maybe you have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Dont mess too much with your hair,
Or by the time youre 40, it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy, but,
Be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
Painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth
But trust me on the sunscreen