KRISTINE
See I really couldnt sing
I could never really sing
AL
…Sing!
..Note.
..Throat.
…Thing.
KRISTINE
What I couldnt do was…
I have trouble with a…
It goes all around my…
Its a terrifying…
See, I reall couldnt hear
Which not was lower or was…
If someone says, Lets start a…
AL
…Higher
…Choir.
KRISTINE
Hey, when I begin to…
Its a cross between a…
And a quiver or a…
Its a little like a…
Or the record player…
What its doesnt have is…
AL
…Shreik.
…Squeak.
…Moan.
…Croak.
…Broke.
…Tone.
KRISTINE
Oh I know youre thinking
What a crazy…
But I really couldnt…
I could never really…
What I couldnt do was…
AL
…Dingaling.
…Sing.
…Sing.
…Sing!
AL
Three blind mice.
KRISTINE Off-Key
Three blind mice.
Spoken
It isnt intentional…
AL Spoken
Shes doing her best,
Jingle bells, jingle bells…
KRISTINE
Jingle bells, jingle bells…
Spoken
It really blows my mind
AL Spoken
She gets depressed
But what I lack in pitch I sure
AL
Make up in…
…Power.
And all my friends say I am
KRISTINE
Perfect for the
Shower.
Still,
Im terrific at a…
Guys are comin in their…
Im a birdie on the…
But when I begin to…
They say, whos the little…
…Goin pong instead of…
AL
…Dance.
…Pants.
…Wing.
…Chirp.
…Twerp
…Ping.
And when Christmas comes ans
All my friends go…
ALL
Caroling,
KRISTINE
It is so dishearten…
It is so disquiet…
It is so discourag…
Darling, please stop answer…
AL
…-Ning.
…-Ting.
…-Ging.
…-Ring!
…Sing.
…Sing.
KRISTINE
See, I really couldnt…
I could never really…
What I couldnt do was…
ALL In parts with Al conducting
Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, do
Do, ti, la, sol, fa, mi, re, do
La
KRISTINE Off Key
La…
ALL
La
KRISTINE
La…
GIRLS
Sing, sing
Sing a sing a sing sing
Sing, sing
Sing, Sing
BOYS
Never sing a note.
Please never,
Never sing a note,
Dont ever…
KRISTINE Off key
…Sing.
ALL
Sing!