When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
Im only hopeless after nine at night
And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
If I didnt youd get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Wheres the land of hope but not quite
Ive been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someones binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed, never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
Ive been bad man, sad man, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trendsetter go getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I aint
Trendsetter go getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I aint
The time you told class I was a half wit
Was my very first 50
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen, copied or lent
And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
A waste of time and effort to teach
Why dyou give us sums if our only hope was bums
On someone elses deckchair and beach?
Ive been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
But never been a legend to God
New thing, dumb thing, even last years thing
Headbang, not even a nod
Ive been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
Weve never caused a lady to faint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I aint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I aint
When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
I spent most of it trying to breathe in
Always ill at ease, too willing to please
An inferior lifes bargain bin
When you come from a background of bargain bins
Youre bound to fear it ends where it begins
So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
And too phoney to celebrate wins
Ive been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someones binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing
Ive been badman, sadman, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I aint
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I aint