I was walking down the high street,
When I heard footsteps behind me.
And there was a little old man Hello!
In scarlet and gray, chuckling away
Well he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly Ahh!
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day
I ought to report you to the Gnome Office.
Gnome Office? Ahahahah!
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me,
Said the laughing gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools,
And a glass of dandelion wine. burp Pardon…
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne.
Carried his bag, and gave him a fag.
Have you got a light, boy?
Here, where do you come from?
Gnome-mans land, heehee!
Oh, really?
In the morning, when I woke up,
He was sitting on the edge of my bed,
With his brother, whose name was Fred.
Hed brought him along to sing me a song.
Alright, lets hear it… ere, whats that clicking noise?
Thats Fred, hes a metro-gnome, haha!
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Oh now, Im a gnome, anyway, haha!
Havent you got a home to go to?
No, we are gnome-ads, hehe!
Didnt they teach you to get your hair cut at school? You look like a rolling gnome.
Nah, not at the London school of Eco-gnome-ics.
Now theyre staying up me chimney,
And were living on caviar and honey Hurray!
Cause theyre earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
Its the, errrr… its the gnome-service, yes, of course!
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Oh, dear me…
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me
One more time!
Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee
Im a laughing gnome and you cant catch me