Im going through changes
Im going through changes
Lately I really, feel like Im rolling Delph for like Philly
I feel like Im losing control of myself, I sincerely
Apologize if all that I sound like, is Im complaining
But life keeps on complicating and Im debating
On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls
Can see Im grievin, I try and hide it
But I cant, why do I act like Im all high and mighty
When inside, Im dying, I am finally realizing I need help
I cant do it by myself
Too weak, 2 weeks Ive been having ups and downs
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying
Around with the idea of ending the shit right here
Im hatin my reflection, I walk around the house tryin to fight mirrors
I cant stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a fuck, only thing I fear is Hailie
Im afraid if I close my eyes I might see her, shit
Im going through changes
Im going through changes
I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin at noon
Yeah, dads in a bad mood, hes always snappin at you
Marshall, what happened at you? Cant stop with these pills
And youve fallen off with your skills
And your own fans are laughin at you
It become a problem youre too pussy to tackle, get up
Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled
Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed
They say Proof just flipped out, homie just swift out and bust
Nah, it aint like Doody to do that
He wouldnt fuckin shoot at, nobody, he fights first
But dwellin on it only makes the night worse
Now Im poppin Vics, perks and Methadone pills
Yeah em, tight verse, you killed it
Fuckin drug dealers hang around me like yes man
And they gon do whatever I says when, I says it
Its in their best interest to protect their investment
And I just lost my fuckin best friend, so fuck it, I guess then
Im going through changes
Dont know what Im going through
But I just keep on going through changes
My friends just cant understand this new me
Thats understandable man but just think how bananas
Youd be, youd be an animal too, if you were trapped
In this fame and caged in it like a zoo
And everybodys lookin at you, what you want me to do?
Im startin to live like a recluse and the truth is
Fame startin to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low
I sit alone in my home theater, watchin the same damn DVD
Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive
And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin pillsll make me feel alright
And if Im still awake in the middle of the night
I just take a couple more, yeah, youre motherfuckin right
I aint slowin down for no one, I am almost homeward bound
Almost in a coma, yeah, homie, come on, dont look now
Daddy, dont you die on me, daddy, better hold your ground
Fuck, dont I know the sound of that voice
Yeah, baby, hold me down
Im going through changes
Dont know what Im going through
But I just keep on going through changes
Wake up in the hospital
Full of tubes, plus somehow Im pullin through
Swear when I come back Ima be bulletproof
Ima do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few
Facts cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth
Shit it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through?
I think about the things I would never got to say to you
Id never get to make it right, so heres what I came to do
Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too
I still love your mother, thatll never change
Think about her every day, we just could never get it together
Hey, wish there was a better way, for me to say it
But I swear on everything, Id do anything for her on any day
There are just too many things to explain, when it rains
Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasnt any pain
But I cant pretend there aint, I aint placin any blame
I aint pointin fingers, heaven knows there never been a saint
I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history
And just today, I looked at your picture, almost hate to say
I miss you self consciously, wish it didnt end this way
But I just had to get away, dont know why
I dont know what else to say, I guess Im
Im going through changes
Dont know what Im going through
But I just keep on going through changes