Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still aint callin
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must notve got em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot em
But anyways, f- it, whats been up, man?
Hows your daughter?
My girlfriends pregnant too, Im bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what Ima call her?
Ima name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, Im sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didnt want him
I know you probably hear this every day
But Im your biggest fan
I even got the underground stuff that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the stuff you did with Rawkus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
My teas gone cold
Im wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
And even if I could itd all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that its not so bad, its not so bad
Dear Slim, you still aint called or wrote
I hope you have a chance
I aint mad, I just think its messed up you dont answer fans
If you didnt want to talk to me outside the concert
You didnt have to
But you couldve signed an autograph for Matthew
Thats my little brother, man, hes only six years old
We waited in the blisterin cold for you
For four hours, and you just said no
Thats pretty crummy, man, youre like his favorite idol
He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do
I aint that mad though, I just dont like being lied to
Remember when we met in Denver?
You said if Id write you, you would write back
See, Im just like you in a way, I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what youre sayin in your songs
So when I have a crumby day, I drift away and put em on
Cause I dont really got shit else
So that shit helps when Im depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real
And I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriends jealous cause I talk about you 247
But she dont know you like I know you, Slim, no one does
She dont know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me, man
Ill be the biggest fan youll ever lose, sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. We should be together too
My teas gone cold
Im wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
And even if I could itd all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that its not so bad, its not so bad
Dear Mr. Im-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans
Thisll be the last package I ever send your ass
Its been six months, and still no word, I dont deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters
I wrote the addresses on em perfect
So this is my cassette Im sendin you, I hope you hear it
Im in the car right now, Im doin 90 on the freeway
Hey, Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins
In the Air of the Night
About that guy who couldve saved that other guy from drownin
But didnt, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
Thats kinda how this is
You couldve rescued me from drownin
Now its too late, Im on a thousand downers now, Im drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I loved you, Slim, we couldve been together
Think about it, you ruined it now
I hope you go to sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you cant sleep
And you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you
And you cant breathe without me
See, Slim, shut up, bitch, Im tryin to talk
Hey, Slim, thats my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
But I didnt slit her throat, I just tied her up, see, I aint like you
Cause if she suffocates shell suffer more
And then shell die too
Well, gotta go, Im almost at the bridge now
Oh shoot, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this tape out?
My teas gone cold
Im wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I cant see at all
And even if I could itd all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that its not so bad, its not so bad
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy
You said your girlfriends pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, Im really flattered you would call your daughter that
And heres an autograph
For your brother, I wrote it on a Starter cap
Im sorry I didnt see you at the show, I mustve missed you
Dont think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But whats this stuff you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that stuff just clownin dawg
Come on, how messed up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin
To help your ass from bouncin
Off the walls when you get down some
And whats this junk about us meant to be together?
That type of crapll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter
I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that youll be doin just fine
If you relax a little, Im glad I inspire you
But Stan, why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
I just dont want you to do some crazy
I seen this one shit on the news
A couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk
And she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape
But they didnt say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you, damn