Spaceman, blow up…
Oh, maggot, hes a modern day fagan
Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan
Dripping with charm, style and panache
Hell leave you sore like a venereal rash
They tried to catch him, he says, time to dash
He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
Hes a bastard, but hes always looking flash
With his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash
Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too
The tallest member of the goldie lookin crew
Watch out if hes there when youre pissed
He learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist
Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
Selling sexy DVDs of a willy being kissed
Stealing pensions on the old and infirm
Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm
Like Charles Dickens, theres a lesson to be learned
Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned
Whoop… whoop… whoop
All of you shall witness the day that Babylon shall fall
Just like Jack The Ripper, hell do you up a kipper
And hes like a highway man holding up a newborn nipper
Hes smarter than Sherlock Holmes, alright, he beats Taggart
Im dapper, refined and they call me the maggot
Turn your back and your pocket, he will pick
His eyes and talons are fukin deadly equipped
Like a chameleon, im the master thief
Using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
Taking belongings in my ultimate goal
Ill take your china, your silver and your soul
By darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe
The maggot, the maggot, thats who I am
Dont ever trust me, always doing a scam
I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham
Gold chains and watches, maggots got plenty
He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
Like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, its elementary
Hes the modern day menace of the nineteenth century
A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
Hes got the strength of ten, like a maniac
And im also identified as Spring-heeled Jack
Whoa, here he comes, watch out, son, hell rip you off
Whoa, here he comes, hes a money grabbing bastard from Newport
Im maggot with the GLC
Big shout to all the Valleys
Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
Big up to Dipper Nan
Merthyr Connection
Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port
And Mark, running the bar
Always sorts it
Big up Hafodrynys hotel
Big up to pontllanfraith crew
Also the west end crew in Abercarn
I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing
Big wheel up, big wheel up
All the bus routes
X15, 53, big respect
Red and white at cross keys
And their rivals glynn williams
Respect to you all
All those that know fake Elvis
On their transister radio…
Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3. Everyman do his ting and look away de van?