Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hi this is Jesus
I cant get to the phone right now
But if you leave a message after the tone
Ill get right back to you
Beep
Dear Jesus
I dont believe in you no more
Dear Jesus
I think you should know the score
I never met you
Cos you lived a long long time ago
Not to upset you
But theres not a lot to know
Born in a stable
Is the story we were told
He had a beard
And you wore a lot of shitty clothes
He walked on water then you held a kickin party on the beach
And the people gathered round to watch you talk and hail and preach
But the bunch of pretty fishers turnin water into wine
Sure Id be a true believer if Id been there at the time
Dear Jesus
I aint buyin all this shit
Dear Jesus
I dont want no part of it
Dont know what you had in mind, but Im sure it wasnt this
I met a couple of cool Christians, but the Revs just take the piss
They its awful to be gay, cos there aint no family
And they made you give them money when you see them on TV
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Jesus!
Looks like were gona hafta throw things down the old school way!
What my mum said, Bring it on!
Dear Jesus, el Presidente
Declared war on them today
He read the Bible, evidently
And your Dad says its ok
Like this guy lives on my block
Hes such an asshole to my mom
And he flips off all the Muslims
Like their doin somethin wrong
I know plenty other dicks like that
But this just makes it worse
He thinks he is so much better
Just because he goes to church
Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus
If you come back just like you said you would
I know that we could chill
But these days we need some evidence
To show that your for real
Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus
I hope you got my message when your back if you can
If you even leave tonight, its means Im your number one fan