This vulnerability is kiling me internally
Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy
But it dont seem to be and so, Im going to take it to the only place that i know to go
And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator
God of creation You show me how to relate to her
Meanwhile, Im thanking You for lessons being learned
See my feelings have been shallow but Ive watched my heart turn
Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly
But deep down I know theres something more inside
Just like Im praying that theres more in me
So when I look at she I just dont see naturally
Not saying physically, that Ill deny the attraction, but all in all thats just a simple satisfaction
That can be obtained through a glance of the eye
This was five years ago, man how time flies by
Beautiful soul full of spirit
I wonder if shed hear it if I told her that she had a
Beautiful soul full of spirit
A few year later…
Her mind intrigues me
It leaves me sort of sick
Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages
Telling stories that cant be summed up in quick phrases
Shes observant so shes seen my behavior
Its got me nervous wanting to stay away from her
I pray for her daily as well as perspective,
Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected
And thats just not appealing
Its almost enough to make you disconnect your fellings or something
And try to move on and give them to someone else but yet
I care for her more than I care for myself
Man who needs this
Im not even good with commitments
Plus I value my independence
In the end its probably just a waste of time spent
Or maybe theres something more to this relationship
Whats the point of caring when it hurts so much
If this is what love comes with Id rather not touch it
In all honesty the outcome is uncertain
And I do run the risk of walking away hurting
Searching for clarity, spare me the dispair
Id rather be alone and not even care
Than to share my trust because you cant control fate
So maybe Ill be alone but at least its safe
I know thats stupid
Probably my insecurity
Or maybe God is using this to get through to me
Because in the back of my mind Im always aware of her
Pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character
Making me think about the man I want to become
Regardless of the situations outcome
Fast forward a few years into my life
Man this song about my wife took me five years to write