Written by Phil Thomas
Well, I was sittin in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas.
Was drinkin Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin to some Mexicans,
An we was… whats that you say?
Whats Colorado Kool-Aid?
Well, its a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream.
Itll set you head on fire an make your kidneys scream,
Oh, it sure is fine.
Yeah, we was havin ourselves one of them real good times.
But you know every beer joint that youve ever been in,
Some big, mean drunk who just aint got no friend,
Sure enough, he wants to fight,
Yeah, hes gonna whip everything in sight.
Well, he took him a big swallow of beer,
And he spit in my Mexican friends ear.
And, sure enough, that made my buddie real mad.
Thats somethin like he aint never had.
Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife
Quick as a whistle he began to slice.
An, that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears,
Lookin down at the floor, an one of his ears.
Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns.
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didnt give a durn.
But he was a gentleman about it, an bent over and with a half way
Grin,
Picked it up and handed it back to him.
He said Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer,
Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear.
Wont be no trouble that way. Thats what I heard him say.
And I said Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid.
An while youre up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of Band
Aids.
Now let me tell you if youre ever ridin down in south of Texas,
Decide to stop an drink some Colorado Kool-Aid,
An maybe talk to some Mexicans,
An you get the urge to get a little tough,
Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff.
Hey, aint that right big man? I said aint that right big man?
Ah, hell he cant hear, not on this side anyway, he aint got no ear.
Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid.
How about it?
How you doin, big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?
Fade out.