Mom and Dad crashed the 401k
Just to get me where I am today
Knee deep in debauchery
Waiting in line at the keg
Get a degree
Pop a few cherries
Get a tattoo of some Greek symbology
This is what I do
To serve the truth
For the red, white, and brew
Its an American Standard
Its an American Standard
That I will pass out every night
Piss myself and pick a fight
I wish I wont
I know I might
Its an American Standard
The futons full of a couple fools
As Im staring at the cops in the ceiling
Marleys on the wall and Im coming down
As Im dreading the road thats in front of me
The chick from last night
Wont remember by name
So I cant be held to blame
Im living in the plan
Im a knee jerk man
Doing all I can
Its an American Standard
Its an American Standard
That I will pass out every night
Piss myself and pick a fight
It cant be wrong
It feels too right
Its an American Standard
They say these days youll never forget
But every evening is another blur that ends in porcelain
And the vow Ill never od it again
Im surrounded by a gaggle of friends
And all the while as Im gogging Im wondering why me
Then I start it all over again
Its an American Standard
Its an American Standard
That I will pass out every night
Piss myself and pick a fight
It cant be wrong
It feels too right
Its an American Standard
Im only here to fill my parents ambitions
So near, so far
Its a wells worth of wishing
Im dishing out the dirt until its piled six feet above me
Just tell me where to go and Ill get in line
I just want a little slice of the pie
A perfect life and perfect wife to serve me
Completely
Just tell me where to go and Ill get in line
I just want a little slice of the pie
A perfect life and a girl on the side to serve me
Discretely
Just tell me where to go and Ill get in line
Just tell me where to go and Ill get in line