What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
The name of this entertainment is
Women lose weight
Our first years of marriage everything was just great
But after two kids
And the weight gain factors
Fact is, now shes completely unattractive
Look, fat chicks
I dont mean to sound rude
I tell her nice, hit the gym
And dont eat so much food
But no…
Youre shallow
You need to run the course of unconditional love and so forth
But how if desires not there
Thats just delayment
Divorces, child support, alimony payments
My unhappiness I doubt discourage
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
Meanwhile my secretary June, well groomed
When you gonna leave your wife?
I tell her soon, mommy, soon, I assume
Or my destiny is blue
Interestingly
The only thing left for me to do is to kill her
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
Im gonna have to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
Kill her
What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor
Im gonna have to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
My plans against or shenanigans
Kinda ran thin
Knowin nothing about poisoning
And I cant swim
Bad intentions pumping
Might as well become numb
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
But the catch is, do I have the nerve to dispatch this
Who can I get to help me murder this fat chick
Guess Ill have to play a dude robbin on wednesday
The day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway, long story short, hit the side of her Chrysler
Sent her clean over the divider
You bastard! she said as the wreck went tumblin down the hill
I thought, She has to be dead
Later on get a call
From a Lieutenant ORourke
Had me leapin like a frog
We need you at the morgue
So I selfishly pursued
Boo-hoo there was nothing else for me to do, I had to kill her
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
Cmon yall, you know I had to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
Kill her
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
I had to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send her ass right to the morgue miss
So you mean to tell me officer you dont have no clue who did this hit and run?
No sir we dont have no clues right now
This is terrible, what am I gonna tell the kids?
Pull yourself together, sir
Im so broken up inside, I just cant believe this
I understand, I understand
Catch the person who did this
Were gonna try sir
Please
Screamin Who done took my heart? actin shooken up a lot
At the funeral, though everyone was lookin at me odd, like I did it
Like I was the reason my mates slain, murmuring
I heard he was displeased with her weight gain
While my secretary, sort of a sexy blonde cant cook
All she does is order from restaurants
All of the sex you want
I doubt could address, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and
Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
How I took a long lunch break day the wife died
I darn near turned pale
And because of betrayal they indicted me, gave me an impossible bail
Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
Moral of the story is
Desire is important
So watch your weight
Itll keep you mate smitten its a given
Though looking back I realised I didnt have to kill her
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
I didnt have to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
I killed her
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, a
Woman advisor
I didnt have to kill her
Course theres laws which enforces divorces
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
Well there you have it
Keep thin trim
Keep your marriage healthy
Do you know what I mean?
Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the Ruler
Peace