I was abducted by the 80s
I never saw them coming
I was on my way home one night
About three in the morning
Minding my own business
When bam! Without warning
I was catapulted from scene to scene
To the music from the A-team
Dressed for all the world like a new romantic
Feeling a twat and starting to look it
With some pointy, shiny shoes
And a Mel Gibson-type mullet
Landing from moment to moment
Like the bloke from Quantum Leap
Cocking every one of them up
And changing our history to the one you now know
I shot JR and got wankered with Sue Ellen
I wrote a song for Europe to help you make your mind up
That Bucks Fizz were shit
99 red balloons, I drove around in a Nissan Sunny
Got pissed at the Vic with Den and Angie
The eighties was shit and it was all my fault
I sold you that Betamax video recorder
And rigged all the elections for Margaret Thatcher
To get revenge on the decade that wrecked my adolescence
Wrecked my adolescence
Wrecked my adolescence
Wrecked my adolescence
Wrecked my adolescence
We were abducted by the 80s
And never saw it coming
The Reagan on me, tentacles
Were clutching at my feet
We were wrapped up in the 80s
Like a song could make a difference
But now its gone, we had the chance
Everybody is moving on
Everybody is moving on
Everybody is moving on
I worked for NASA
I introduced Charles to Diana and Fergie to Andrew
But Its My Party and Ill Cry if I Want To
Of the SDP Liberal Alliance
Everybody is moving on
We were abducted by the 80s
We were abducted by the 80s
Listen and youll get it somehow
I listened and I got it somehow
I lost my faith at Bhopal and rained on Greenham Common
Had a spoil over oil with General Galtieri
Fell out with Gaddafi and blew up his children
And then screamed for retribution for the children of Lockerbie
I introduced Michael Ryan to his AK47
And watched him go berserk
Pulled the sheet from under Fleet Street
And starved the miners back to work
Albeit temporarily
I was Reagans latex brain
Slowly decomposing, like the spuds of Percy Thrower
I was the hands of Kenny Everett and Diego Maradona
We were abducted by the 80s
In music television, the dimly lit
Mind the other and I struggle to compete
We were colonized by empire that couldnt tell the difference
But now its gone, we had that chance
Everybody is moving on
Im responsible for Murder She Wrote
We were abducted by the 80s
Heart to Heart and Back to the Future
We were abducted by the 80s
Thrash metal and the arms race
Cagney and Lacey and video nasties
We were abducted by the 80s
We were abducted by the 80s
I was abducted by the 80s
I never saw them coming